Couples In Conflict
The Complaint Department
In my Texas counseling practice and in my Nationwide Expert coaching practice, the couples I see range in age from 22 to 72 years of age, they are from across all races, across all gender expressions and all faiths.
Some of the women complain about their partners’ poor communication styles, lack of respect, and willingness to share their hearts privately and publicly.
A good number of the men complain that there is very little sex. After that they complain of too little emotional connection, too many demands and too much jealousy.
Why Couples Seek Counseling
Couples come to me because they are either still hopeful that they can stay together and be happy or because they are already happy and want to get even happier!!!
Sometimes, I have to be the bearer of unwelcome thought and suggestions.
The vast majority of partners don’t like to see themselves as being the problem,
As a rule, nobody wants to be the first one to risk change.
There are two challenges couples have.
The FIRST is to be honest about where they are.
The SECOND is to be realistic about the expectations they have of their partners.
How do we do this – Together or Separately?
Working with one person in individual coaching or counseling requires a commitment of time, money and a willingness to keep growing as a person Working with a couple, multiplies the challenges. Most couples in pain want that pain to stop now. When you have pain now, the challenge to change can feel like your trying to climb Mount Everest without an oxygen tank. Couples relationships without major issues require daily maintenance and a commitment to being uncomfortable at times. What sustains them is that on the balance sheet of love they have avoided debt and have set aside some “reserves”. So troubled couples have accumulated a lot of love debt and they have spent their emotional reserves or never bothered to accumulate them in the first place. We teach you how to do the little daily activities that change this! I like to apply the “Man in the Arena” missive. It applies equally well to women. The point isn’t winning or losing the battle, it’s being willing to enter the battle with a full commitment of heart and not beating yourself up if you have a defeat. Thanks for reading! The Balance Sheets of Relationships